Body talk.

My friend Wendy made a note on facebook talking about the stereotypes placed on women and standards of beauty. It's a fairly long note, so I'm not going to copy-and-paste it here. But there have been so many comments on it, and it's really an amazing thing to read. There are a lot of girls expressing their insecurities about their bodies, and there are a lot of boys who are expressing how they really feel about the stereotypical "beautiful" woman. I'm going to post some of them here. The conversation is still going on, but this is just what was there at the time of this posting.

It was a really great thing to read and contribute to, so I figured I'd blog about it so maybe someone else can be affected by it. It was so nice to hear guys' opinions on it.

Ali: The guy friends i've talked to think more than a handful of boob in too much. honestly i think that's mostly a stereotype that guys love enormous boobs.
as far as being skinny, i'm pretty damn skinny but i still feel the pressure to be smaller and more toned and healthy because all my close girls have amazing bodies and mine is the biggest, even if only by a little.
overall, i think natural beauty is the most amazing. but to really own natural beauty requires natural confidence and I think that's where most people suffer. but truly, natural hair texture and color, minimal make-up, no fake anything. I am religious, but I think you're made who you are because that's the way you were meant to be. nothing wrong with trying to enhance a few things (no one's perfect) but changing this always looks wrong.
and i guess the last thing i want to say is you are always your toughest critic and you'll always find a flaw that could be fixed, no matter how small. and you'll focus on it until you fix it and find a new flaw to hate. it's just the way life will always be. the trick is to keep that worry and self-consciousness as much at bay as possible.
Andrew: Ok, first man comment. I don't have much to say except that maybe the key is to find a balance between how much we work on our appearance and how much better it makes us feel. One must find a balance to maximize that ratio. And in the end, you just have to stand in front of a mirror, smile, and love and accept what you're given. oh, and i disagree with you ali. I have nothing against enormous boobs and i'll think you'll find most guys feel the same way. But to me, plastic surgery needs to be about the way it will make YOU feel, not the result of other people's opinion.
Bryah: WELL i have a lot to share on this one . . .
About teeth (not to seem like a pig) but i do think that straighter teeth are more appealing to look at, but not important, and by no means must they be perfect. I personally am gifted with somewhat straight teeth and feel no need for any money to fix anything (mainly discoloration). As for multiple surgeries go . . . thats excesive and unnecessary, same with braces. Please do not waste time or money on your teeth that much; they still chew food fine and can still express the same emotions. I really only find completely disgusting teeth in the deep south or in some far out wilderness desolate area lol (no offense really). As for boobs (this is a bit awkward), i think every guy will have a different preference. Personally, my preferences lie mainly with personality, and i would rather see someone with natural boobs. Bigger (or smaller or even moderately sized) boobs are not necessarilly the best. DO NOT GO UNDER THE KNIFE FOR BIGGER BREASTS, if a guy cant live with you cause of "small" boobs then ditch him. Its reall ynot worth the time. Stay natural, what you have fits who you are and your personality - for me God made it that way. I like some shape in the breasts, but D's are way too big and gross). I personally dont like obese people because their weight tells me that they have not cared for their body. I cant stand that. But, natural weight is totally fine and i like that better. I actually dislike the synthetic skinny people in general. Synthetic is the key word. Again, take care of your body naturally and stay you r natural weight; unless you have a medical condition, im sure you wont be fat. NO KNIFES. I personally have some fat on my tummy, i dont like it, but nor do i sweat about it. I will live, and it does not inhibit anything i do. Please DO NOT FRET OVER THAT SMALL STOMACH FLAB!!! STAY EMOTIONALLY SOUND!!!
Zoe: this is a very awkward conversation...lol. but as the bearer of tiny boobs, i know the feeling of being self-concious about it...but overall, i dont care all that much, and would NEVER go under the knife for it...SO not worth it. and according to a source i'll leave anonimous "more than a hanful is a waste anyhow." and in response to all the "it should be about how you feel, not how others feel about you..." comments- those are the same thing...the people that are unhappy with how they look are only unhappy because they are comparing themselves to others, and feel inferior.
Bryah: Well i come from Texas . . . if that doesnt say enough:
Women in Texas LOVE make-up. It's a disease. I dont really like make-up on people because i like seeing their natural faces. A little make-up is ok, and a lot is only good for rare occaissions. I like a more natural look. Thank you for Colorado =D. Btw, thank you all my friends for not putting on a complete mask everyday. For me, its personality. Who they are on the inside. What they like, are interested in, care for, worry about, love, hate, enjoy, do. After that, after seeing their intelligence in social and academic stuff, physicality can hold play in keeping interest, but is deffinitely not a main factor. I like to try to focus on who a person really is, not what they look like. Thats humanizing, and not fair. I would like to hope that most other people do the same, i feel its respectful and right. But, people will be themselves, and thats perfection.
Zoe: sorry, but i have to refute all the "its all about who you are as a person" thing...because, while, ultimately, this is the most omportant thing, everyone judges the book by its cover and appearance does matter in that way. how you look is strongly tied to your approachability- it is often a reflection of you and how you cary yourself. you can tell a lot about a person by how they look most of the time. i feel like there is a line between "appearances matter" and being shallow.
Talia: Boobs: Sort of awkward... To anyone who knows me I know I joke around about breast sizes and all of that, but really it's because I can be insecure about the whole thing. I'm sort of on the opposite end of the spectrum.
I can tell you right now it sucks because that's the only thing people comment on. People come up to me all of the time and comment on my chest. I can deal with that, but it still hurts when you constantly have people telling you you have the wrong body type because it's such a shallow thing to care about.
Me: I think it's ridiculous what the standards of beauty are these days. I was at King Soopers the other day, and right by the self checkout, there was one of those celebrity gossip magazines, and on the front cover was a picture of Jessica Simpson and how scandalous it apparently is that she's getting "fat." Well, I picked up the magazine and skimmed through the article. Guess what? Jessica Simpson and I are basically the exact same build. She's only an inch taller than I am, we're the same weight, and the same sized boobs. I left the store feeling horrible, because if someone my exact same build is fat, then I guess I'm fat too. I mean, I don't think I'm skinny or anything. Not at all. I think I'm actually pretty curvy and a lot of the time I'm not happy with my body in the least. But I mean, seeing this HUGE woman on the cover apparently being my same build, it wasn't a happy sight. But eventually, too late, I realized that they used digital editing to make her look so heavy.
Wendy: That's awful, I also hate it when the "experts" notice the tiniest flaws in their figures that a normal person would never see, I think they are a big part in driving them to plastic surgery and that drives normal people to it, it's plain sadistic
Bryah: i hate "experts". SO DUMB. you think they could lay off for a moment . . .but no. Sorry girls, us guys made life so much harder for you by starting trends thousands of years ago. All i can say is sorry.
Talia: Sorry I didn't explain. People are always telling me "You're boobs are way too big" or "I want big boobs, but not as big as yours". I don't think it's acceptable for people pointing out something like that as if it's their business.
I'm fine with my body the way it is. I don't appreciate people telling me otherwise.
Me: And I'm totally with Talia about the boob size thing...I'm pretty big busted myself. I hate how that's all that guys see. It's like, hello, my face happens to be above my neck thank you very much.
Sammi: Well, I'm just going to start with boobs. Why not?
Coming from someone who has to go to special stores to buy bras because they are, indeed, that large, I think a small breast augmentation is acceptable if the woman has made the choice on their own. I guess it isn't that big of a deal for me because naturally my breasts are roughly the same size as Pamela Anderson's, possibly larger. (awkward, but honest) And as for the stereotype of men liking large breasts, I get close to zero male attention. so, there you go.
As for the skinny issue, I have had a similar struggle to yours, Wendy, along with some serious food addiction. I accept people of all sizes because I think that anyone who discriminates based on appearance especially with weight is on a new and terrible level of disgusting and loathsome. Most obese people have never been skinny or have had the chance to.