We're all waiting for our faerie tale.

Life goes on like the turn of a wheel. There are bumps in the road, but we can never pass them if we don't push forward.

I keep thinking about how time is running out with John. He's graduating this year, and I'm staying here. I'm still confused about my feelings, but you know, as much as it goes against what I stand for, I may not mind a hookup with him. Kind of a bittersweet goodbye. But then again, I'll be seeing him occasionally because I don't think he's going anywhere far. So the romanticism involved with that whole prospect is moot. And even if it wasn't, I still probably wouldn't, because Ksenia is still so in love with him. I have to resist.

It would be nice though, for someone who I have feelings for to have feelings for me in return. I'm so sick of having to turn down unrequited lovers...this year has been so crazy. No one, NO ONE has ever had a crush on me before. In the last 3 or 4 months, I've gotten two. Absolutely nuts. I'm flattered, I truly am. The fact that anyone could even like me like that is just so weird. But I just can't return the feelings for either. I wish I could, but I can't. I feel so horrible because I know how it is on the other side of the spectrum, but I just can't. And I can't help that, so why am I still worrying about it? I don't even know.