The Man In The Blue Suit

I feel like I'm sixteen years old and stuck in the Department of Motor Vehicles for four hours before failing my driving test. Indeed, this place is that kind of hell. Only I'm not sixteen, but nearing thirty and pressed up against the back wall of the unemployment office, soaked from the rain and extremely uncomfortable.
The place is crowded, thanks to our failing economy--each chair is filled people whose large, beady eyes reflect disappointment and worry. Their depression is like a disease, and after a while I feel my eyes grow heavy. I wonder if they see me as sad and lonely too.
The rain drops down like bullets outside of the huge glass windows. On any sunny weekday, as the corporate crowd takes their lunch and strolls down the street, they peek through these windows with nervous glances. You know the reason why they quickly look away with a flush is not because they believe it's rude to stare.
I slide down onto the floor amidst my wet jacket, my back against the wall as I wait for my number to be called. Head back, chin up, eyes closed. Breathe. Again.
"I am relaxed," I mutter mid-breath. This has become my mantra of late. Ever since my boss decided to lay me off, regardless of how many buttons on my blouse I had dropped at his command, thinking it secured my job. So wrong. Shit. I'm getting stressed again. Inhale. Exhale. "I am relaxed."
"You don't look very relaxed, if you ask me," a voice chuckles. My eyes fly open as I glare up at the stranger who interrupted my meditation.
"Well I am," I say curtly and lean my head back again. Lie.
"You must be really good at that meditation stuff then, because it's near impossible to relax in this place. That woman with the screaming baby--God, the kid's giving me a headache." I'm about to say something smart and go back to my breathing, but I give up because I know the guy will interrupt again and it was kind of a wasted effort anyway. The guy sits down next to me. I notice he's about my age and much drier than I am; his navy suit and loosened tie seem freshly dry cleaned. He's a good looking guy, but something is wrong about him. No, not wrong--just different from everyone else in the room. There's some odd vivacity in his demeanor that is ironic for someone filing for unemployment. The punchline of some untold joke plays behind his lips.
"I thought I was the only one bothered by that," I answer after a prolonged pause.
"Nope, I can tell everyone else here is too, but they're biting their tongue. Madea over there is debating on whether she should say something," he winks at the masculine-looking black woman with glasses sitting behind the counter. Sure enough, behind the glaze over her eyeballs, there's some kind of muted irritation. I chuckle at her expression and turn back to the stranger. He's sitting closer to me than I had realized, and my heart picks up speed. I bite my lip before I continue.
"I bet you're right."
"Now that lady over there," he says and points to a nervous looking woman wearing large, gaudy earrings in the shape of an umbrella and a drop of rain. "Ex-elementary school teacher. Emotional wreck. Enochlophobic."
"How do you know?"
"Look at the way her eyes dart around. See her hands--the palms are sweaty. And her outfit, well, that speaks for itself," he says with a low chuckle that takes me by surprise.
"You read people very well," I remark. He laughs again.
"Yeah, I guess I do. People can pretend to be anything they want. A lot of people pretend to be happy, confident, or successful. More than you'd expect. I just see them for who they really are." He gives me this look as if he's studying me. I feel naked, vulnerable in the presence of someone who can see through any front. His face suddenly breaks into a huge smile that lit up the entire room. He stands up and shakes out his slacks.
"See ya," he says without warning, and strides away. I stare after him, dumbstruck, and head over heels in love with this stranger.

--

So I started this last night and finished it a few minutes ago. I know it's kind of a weird setting for a romance, but I figured it was very relevant and had potential to be cute. I have no idea if I succeeded. The dialogue was kind of tough to write, I didn't want it to be too long and I wanted to capture the instant chemistry between the stranger and our protagonist, because if there's no chemistry there's no story. The whole idea of instant love has been something I thought about since I listened to James Blunt's song, "You're Beautiful." The song is crap, but the lyrics always intrigued me.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

Basically, James Blunt is high and on a subway, sees this chick and falls in love. I think it's just the pot. I'm pretty sure it's not possible to fall in love with someone at one glance. But that's what this short story revolves around--instantly falling in love with a person after a short conversation. As much as I think it's impossible, it's still sweet.

I AM SO ADDICTED TO THIS GAME.

Trippy Ski Runner

The object of the game is to get as many pills as possible without hitting the trees, rocks, or random ancient ruins (no idea why they're there.) The trick is, if you get enough pills, it goes into major trippy mode and there are flashing colors and random stuff flying everywhere...that won't kill you, but it makes it difficult to see the rocks and trees.
It's so much fun, give it a go. :)

Burn.

The glowing speck of ember falls to the floor. I step on it to put it out, and it scorches the sole of my bare foot. The incense -- a seductive rose -- burns a brilliant orange before crumbling away like ash. Touch it, it burns. The most extraordinary sensation of living. Most find it an unpleasant feeling, but to me, it is revitalizing. Love and sorrow cloud the perception of senses, but the privilege of pain, baking flesh within a thousand roman candles, is the closest one can get to life.

--
I've been killing myself by not writing every day, which has subsequently put me in a massive stroke of writer's block. Finally, I wrote this short piece a few minutes ago, surrounded by lots of candles and incense. You can sense the personality of a writer just by observing their style. I've noticed I've written a lot about fire, which I guess means I'm a closet masochist/pyrotechnic. Haha. But I really like the idea that I captured in this -- about pain being the essence of life. I think I'm going to expand on it more. It was basically inspired by something Criss Angel said in an episode long ago, I can't find the actual quote online. It kind of stuck with me.

So yeah, there you go. Enjoy!

I've been home sick with walking pneumonia for two days. Luckily, I'm on antibiotics now so I should be okay to go to school tomorrow...hopefully.

Someone showed me this video a few days ago...I think it's really cool.

I'm so in love with this song.

I love Taylor Swift's music/lyrics ohmygoodness. Fearless is totally the album of my life right now. Kind of wish I was still 15, but I'm not THAT much older, so it still applies. :)


Fifteen

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
You say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way
It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
You know I haven't seen you around, before

(Chorus)
'Cause when you're fifteen and
Somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen feeling like
There's nothing to figure out
But count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know
Who you're gonna be
Fifteen

You sit in a class next to a redheaded Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughing at the others girls
Who think they're so cool
We'll be out of here as soon as we can
And then you're on you're very first date
And he's got a car and you're feeling like flying
And you're mamma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one
And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

(Chorus)
'Cause when you're fifteen and
Somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes you head spin 'round but
In your life you'll do things greater
Than dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted
Was to be wanted
Wish you could go back
And tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna
Marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind
And we both cried

(Chorus)
'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be
At fifteen

la la la la la...la la la la la...la la la la la

Your very first day
Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors

OMG!

So everybody knows about my obsession with Johnny Depp and all of his splendid glory. That's no surprise.
Next year he's going to be releasing a new movie with Tim Burton, a live-action version of Alice in Wonderland. Depp is playing the Mad Hatter.

So in November a picture of Depp in costume was released. He's scary as hell, that's for sure, but I can't help but feel uber excited and the need to throw myself upon him asap. I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE! March 5th 2010<3

Happy March

So Rush was last night/this morning. Holy shit so much fun but I'm so sore.

First, the high school youth groupers went around and kidnapped the 8th graders at their houses. I went with David and Mama C (David's mother -- she's so rad) to kidnap three girls. We rocked to Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and Motion City Soundtrack, among others.

After, we went to Xtreme Challenge, which is this American Gladiators place. It was crazyyy fun but painful. Talia and I were human wrecking balls haha it was great. Then we went back to temple for Havdallah which was amazing as usual. After we played laptag and watched Zoolander. Finally, this morning we decided to go to bed and slept on the floor for a few hours. I'm so crazy sore.

As tired as I am, I feel like this week is going to be a really good one. I really hope it is. It's the first week of March, which means spring is almost here. It better not snow anytime soon....